One Night Only
Film
Two love-starved strangers crash into each other on the one night of the year where single people are allowed to have sex
There is something charming about the mere existence of One Night Only, a high-concept, wide-release theatrical romantic comedy that harkens back to a now-defunct era when good/bad movies could just roam free. Back in simpler times, being an "modestly-priced, yet aggressively mediocre" rom-com was a rite of passage for movie stars; this flavor of movie tried to put a fresh spin on a tried-but-true formula and were silly, horny, and clumsy, stupid but endearing. Audiences were content with two hours of escapist entertainment that did not demand admiration for ambition or based on artistic merits – these were conceived for commercial appeal, undeniably shameless but still mostly sincere. Cut to current day, this type of movie seems to only exist on streaming services; they're what you might call 'cookie-cutter content,' designed to optimize pacing and oversaturate the aesthetics to make for an easy, nearly mindless comfort-watch. I'm not going to name names but you know exactlyyy the kind of movie I'm talking about, don't you? Wait, you mean to tell me that corporations weaponize our sensory pleasure to satisfy shareholders by creating zero-risk art in an effort to maintain cushy stock prices? I don't believe you, that's surely never ever happened before, ever!
While the ceiling for your average, run-of-the-mill theatrical rom-com may have varied back in the day, there was at least a relatively high (or at least somewhat stable) floor for what your movie ticket would be paying for. But now, thanks to the dystopian convenience and congenialty of modern streaming accomodations, the floor for these rom-coms has been categorically lowered, and an entire generation of content consumers has been incentivized to accept even less. So even though One Night Only is not great by any metric, it is a spiritual throwback of sorts, the kind of good/bad movie with an actual idea that valiantly tries (and fails) to execute that idea in a way that, I admit, was refreshing. Maybe it's bad in a way that at least feels purposeful, especially compared to so much of the Alogrithmic Cinema we have at our fingertips in our living rooms.
Spoilers aplenty
Okay, remember how I just said that One Night Only was built around an interesting idea? Now that I'm actually putting pen to paper, what I meant to say is that, in actuality, it's whatever is just short of catastrophic clusterfuck. In the near (ish?) future, premarital sex has been outlawed in the United States, except for one government-sanctioned evening. Every citizen has a tattoo on their wrist – which is some sort of biosensor??? – that changes color when the 12-hour exemption period commences. Hold the fuckin' phone right there for one god damn second – even just recapping the log-line, I'm struggling to decide whether this premise is at all thought-provoking or just a cockamamie crock of shit. One Night Only is more or less The Purge but with sex, and the idea of blending totalitarian body-policing with lighthearted rom-com tropes is either amusingly inspired or diabolically tone-deaf. Depending on your preferences, it might be: (A) inspired, (B) tone-deaf, (C) both of the above, (D) neither of the above, or (E) what in the fuck, how in the fuck, and why in the fuck is this happening?! What can be agreed upon is that it is an erroneously enormous concept for what is, essentially a rom-come about two ridiculously attractive people trying to get their freak on before the sun rises. There are certainly much worse reasons to make a movie – there are also better ones.
Directed by Will Gluck, the head honcho behind many a-successful rom-com à la Easy A, Friends with Benefits, and his most recent hit, Anyone But You, One Night Only is probably bad in more ways than good, full of jokes that don't land, plot contrivances that don't matter, and satire that doesn't bite. And yet, I found myself having a having a strange affection for it, largely because it is so unapologetically committed to being the kind of movie that doesn't really get made anymore. It stars Monica Barbaro as Allie and Callum Turner as Owen, and in trying to recapture the same kind of high-profile movie star bump that Anyone But You afforded Sydney Sweeney and Glen Powell just a few years ago, they are asked to carry the movie on their chemistry and charisma. However, One Night Only has a lot more going on story-wise, and the actors are shouldered with the burden of selling the audience on a thought experiment about sex, intimacy, and relationships in our troubled modern times. Yes, there's some broad physical comedy, an expensive-looking city that was shot-on-location, and a nostalgic-dipped soundtrack to keep things moving along, but it's a lot to ask of two stars who haven't quite earned a reputation, for no lack of effort, to carry a movie. While Turner's Chris-Evans-light everyman is obviously handsome enough and more than willing to look foolish for the sake of the joke, his awe-shucks bewilderment and inability to really try and sell shitty jokes (which I recognize is an almost backwards critique) held the film back for me. Barbaro, who is also let down by much of the material she's provided, manages to fare a little better, and gradually won me over, thanks to her comedic timing and self-awareness in this part.
I'm admittedly unmotivated to deep-dive the story any further, because the more you pull at this film's threads, the less you'll feel inclined to seek it out. The biggest problem here is that its central premise and political commentary is much more interesting in theory than in execution. The idea that a government could criminalize sex for most of the year and then create one officially sanctioned night isn't just silly – it's fascistic. Reckoning with state control, sexual repression, and authoritarianism could support genuinely vicious satire... unfortunately, there is not enough thought or care put into what it's trying to sell. Despite how clunky the story is, how misguided the tone can be, and how messiness of the themes, I'm still willing to give Gluck some credit – at least he's trying to once again build up and rely on movie stars to sell a movie made for the big screen. There's a lot of people taking their clothes off, a lot of embarrassing physical situations, and flagrant but non-threatening cameos from celebrities and a Colleen Hoover book. None of this really matters, which is partly why it worked fine enough – in that way, One Night Only has at least some semblance of self-awareness, understands the ecosystem it's operating in, and gives the audience a quick wink before getting back to business. Which again might be the movie's biggest shortcoming: many of the jokes are just not that funny and even some of the funny ones don't land. It ultimately isn't funny enough to be considered a successful comedy, sharp enough to be considered good satire, or clever enough to be considered insightful.
An old-school broad studio comedy feels almost forbidden now. They seem to happen only once a year, kind of like sex in this movie. One Night Only is a mess, but it is a sincere attempt at something that has become increasingly rare: a big, stupid, star-driven comedy that just wants you to have a good time. This film's broadness and looseness is welcome attempt at something genuine but is unconfident in its own perspective and gets lost in its political absurdities and profundities. I get it, it's a hell of a lot cheaper and less of an inconvenience to be disappointed by this kind of movie at home when it is quietly released and quickly forgotten. But maybe I'm craving the kind of good/bad movie we used to have since we now live in world where a movie being 'perfect' often comes at the expense of being 'good,' and the idea of a movie being 'good' is usually the enemy of a movie being 'fun." This movie wasn't very good, but it tries its best to say something and have fun. Am I sprinkling brownie points?
Froth
Sometimes, the best move when trying to read an unfamiliar brewing menu is to not overthink it. Order a flagship. Ask the bartender for a recommendation. Or better yet, order based on name and name alone. When you see "Butt Lite" listed on a menu at a brewery that specializes in buttocks-themed puns, you should save yourself some time and order the first thing that jumps out or makes you laugh like the little philistine you really are. Butt Lite is a play on Bud Light from Hinder Brewing Co. in Waupaca, WI, and let me say, they nailed it. Nothing fancy. No frills. Just good, honest beer with a dumbass label and the lowest hanging fruit pun you can possibly imagine. Sometimes, the best move is no move at all. Now hold onto your butts!
