What happens when you put a maskless Tom Hardy behind the wheel of a BMW X5 for 85 minutes and force him to hold the screen (and your attention) for a film's entirety? Well, it's the same thing that happens when you put pancake batter in an old rinsed-out ketchup bottle: transcendant magnificence.
What am I talking about? Let me break it down real fast, because it's worth going into. So the first thing you want to do is hold on to an old ketchup bottle (Heinz, Hunt's, whatever you got). That is once you've squeezed every last drop out of that sucker. Then go ahead and rinse it, air dry it out, and keep it handy for the next time you're ready to make a gargantuan breakfast. From there the rest is pretty straightforward: whip up some of that lightning-fast boxed pancake mix (I'm a real Bisquick bitch, but whatever ya got will work just fine), slather your batter into that trusty, old, cleaned-out ketchup bottle. Then heat up your cast iron skillet (yes you heard me correctly, I said "cast iron skillet," not "non-stick pan," because this is the big leagues and butter/bacon grease was created for a reason), and voilà! You'll have perfectly portioned pancakes with minimal batter splatter due to the drip-free finesse of that bottle. Seriously, what a cost-effective, eco-friendly way to make delightfully fluffy pancakes. I am more than confident you'll be pleased with the results of the steps I've laid out for many breakfasts to come.
But yeah, Locke is a really good movie directed by Steven Knight. I was going to try and get into some of the specifics about the storytelling and filmmaking, such as the real time narratological structure and the underlying metaphorical conflict (the juxtaposition of Locke as a construction foreman in charge of literally pouring foundational concrete versus his own personal insecurities related to absentee fathers and parental abandonment); and I have to again recognize the prodigious display of on-screen magnetism unleashed by Tom Hardy and his (entire) face. Except now I'm regretting how much time I spent talking about pancakes earlier as opposed to this movie. Ahh well, it was time well spent though, right?
Just know that Locke is legit and worth the watch. It's a testament to micro-budget filmmaking (something I've fawned over before), and as far as slow-burn cinema goes, this is as engrossing as anything else you'll get from a film shot over the course of eight nights. Tom Hardy glistens, but then again, so does a greasy hot skillet ready for flapjacks.
All this talk about breakfast almost had me forgetting about the beer I paired during my Locke viewing. Leave it to the indellible artwork on microbrewery cans these days (in this case a sketched Jack Russell Terrier with a black spot over one eye), and I find myself having bought a Bam Bière four-pack without flinching. Come to find out later, this is a farmhouse ale. Did I know that at the time of purchase? YeahhNo. But this oak-aged, can-conditioned beauty (I'm honestly just restating what's printed on the can) was delicious. It's a saison but with flair and complexity, one that I'd recommend to those looking for something a little more off the radar.
Bam Bière Farmhouse Ale - Saison | 4.5% Jolly Pumpkin Artisan Ales @jollypumpkin